I often get asked, “Have anything fun planned for the weekend?” and recently my answer has been a resounding, yes!
See, Hope’s work schedule is currently weekends only, and this does not mean I become full-time Dad instantly at 5 pm on Friday. I am a full-time Dad throughout the week, not just the weekends. Hope being present does not excuse me from my fatherly duties and if anything it magnifies it.
To understand that concept you have to grasp the idea that I became a husband before I became a father. My duty starts with taking care of my wife. My kids need to see that their Dad loves their Mom and pursues her endlessly.
But how do we do that when we have limited time on the weekends? Easy, the weeknights. But aren’t you so tired, worn out, exhausted, and drained from working all day? Yes, and I go to bed even more exhausted.
Our kids go to sleep between the hours of seven and eight which gives Hope and me four to five hours of time together. Some nights consist of TV while others are cooking dinner at 9:30 at night just for the two of us. To say we don’t have time would be an excuse and would create division between us. Weeknights are the only time we have, so we use it.
Are we perfect? No. We argue and disagree just like any other couple, but the difference is we don’t let that become who we are. We don’t let a disagreement define our relationship.
To other husbands/dads, words of advice and encouragement:
1. Love your wife and do it well.
2. Don’t make excuses or be passive by avoiding your wife and kids.
3. Lead your family by engaging in their life. Be present and not just physically.
4. Help around the house. Don’t complain something is not picked or cleaned – do it.
5. Contrary to what society says – we can be Husbands, Dads, providers, and comforters at the same time.
These are things I struggle with daily but continue to come back to and check myself often.